Zeta List: Touga x Saionji
by Harpsichord-Fetish
Summary: A series of Touga/Saionji oneshots. Various ratings, various genres. Reviews would be much appreciated. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Black

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #01: chess

**Rating: **Teens (some mild language, thematic elements…)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

Black

A/N: This fic will be written from Saionji's POV.

"Hey Touga, do you remember…?" My words didn't make it the rest of the way out because the perfect trap for the bastard's bishop popped into my mind. I quickly moved my rook and tucked a lock of thick, wavy, green hair behind my ear; the whole thing was so perfect I couldn't help but him my best friend a smug look. That quite a huge deal for me, considering it was usually _him_ that gave out all the condescending smirks.

"Remember what?" He said distractedly, his blue eyes darting around the chess board, attempting to find an escape route for the endangered piece. Touga knew that all I had to do was take down his bishop and I would have a straight line right to the king.

Check mate.

"How we used to play chess together back when we were kids?"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"_You should be black when we play! It suits you a whole lot better!" Touga laughed when he said it, I supposed because it was true. I was always the one in trouble, losing my temper, starting a fight. It was too perfect to be black._

"_That's way too sinister…I don't know if I want to play anymore." I said, slightly ashamed to the tentativeness in my voice. He rolled his eyes at me and began to set up the game, slamming pawns, throwing knights and queens into their proper place. Touga turned the board with black pieces towards me and sighed._

"_It doesn't matter what color you use anyways, I'll beat you all the same." He grinned at his own childish quip, "White goes first by the way."_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Our entire relationship could be summed up in that conversation. Touga always went first, and Touga always knew how to put me in my place. Black sheep, white sheep; it never changed one bit between us.

"Ah!" Touga exclaimed, "I believe I've just won the game."

It was true. I watched in annoyance as Touga cleverly moved his bishop out of my trap, knocking over my knight in the process, and leaving my king prone for toppling.

"I believe I do remember our childhood, amateurish, games of chess." He reclined back in his chair, and crossed his elegant legs, more than confident in the way the tables had turned.

"I won all the time back then just like I do now."

I nodded, as I pushed my finger against the black king. My piece collapsed with a hollow sound onto the checkered board while I thought of all the other times I'd surrendered to Touga.

"I suppose I've jinxed you." An amused expression came to his face as he spoke it. "White does always seem to win against black."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Ascendance

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #02: marionette

**Rating: **Adults (for sexual/disturbing themes)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

Ascendance

A/N: This fic mentions events from the Revolutionary Girl Utena movie. Normally my Utena fics will be based off of the TV series, but this is one of the exceptions.

He remembered a cabbage patch. Touga thought he might be still there, in the garden, and that the car he was sprawled out on was a dream. Yes, the red car, the almost blinding stars, clustered like over ripened grapes above him. That was the dream.

Saionji was sitting beside him on the cold convertible. He moved to unbutton Touga's shirt as the camera flashed a few times, blinking its bulbous eyes as Saionji trailed his fingers down Touga's chest. Akio let out a small laugh from behind the stoic camera.

"Relax, Touga. I promise Saionji won't hurt you." Akio smiled at his own words and the camera flashed again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_The dew was dripping slow and silent off of the leafy vegetation; the lazy, ethereal quality of the scene made everything seem more like a fairy tale illustration than reality. Were there castles rising up out of the soil around him? He couldn't be sure. He was never sure._

_Even as a child, laying on his back, his foster father laying heavily over him, he understood how little he really knew._

_Touga breathed in quickly as his shirt was ripped away, breaking the slow-motion atmosphere. He realized how uncomfortable the ground beneath him was. He sensed a loss of control he was sure he could never regain._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Touga winced as he felt Saionji rubbing his fingers clumsily around his nipples. He fingers were cold and unsure, an obviously thoughtless action under direction from Akio.

"Alright, now get on top of him." Akio said seductively as he raised the camera to capture once again the erotic images the two boys were faking.

Saionji obeyed, straddling his friend with as much confidence as he could muster, a faint blush spread over his cheeks as he thought about what he was doing. Touga was slightly surprised to feel Saionji's half erection through the fabric of their pants. He allowed himself to look away from the mass of stars to his friend's embarrassed face, flushed and obviously mortified that Touga was aware of his arousal.

The green-haired teen huffed angrily, his easily awakened temper rising to the surface. He lunged forward, slamming his hands down on the car hood, and grabbed Touga's wrists possessively, yanking them further over his head. Saionji leaned down further, kissing Touga as roughly as he could, as if to cut off any possible questioning of his actions from the Student Council President. He had managed to tangle some of Touga's long red hair in his fingers, and Touga gave a small grunt of discomfort.

Akio set his camera aside and walked over to the two boys. Placing a hand on Saionji's head, he grabbed a small handful of hair, and pulled the boy's mouth off of Touga.

"Touga, I know what you want out of these duels." He whispered. "But to gain what you truly want, I think you know what I shall require of you."

Touga looked from Saionji, who was still breathing heavily and flushed, to the incandescent stars that were making his reality seem like a set in a play; like he was trapped inside a snow globe. The hood of the car was cutting into his back, making his spine ache and his muscles throb. Touga looked back at Akio, who was still smiling at him in an almost fatherly manner.

"You want me…to be totally under you control. You want me to never question, to help you with _your_ cause first, and to be your puppet. That's what you want."

"Yes. That's what I want."

……………………………………………………………………………………………....

_Were those fairies? Rising up out of the garden, they smiled down at his helpless form, gyrating with the frantic movements of the man on top of him._

_Yes. They were fairies, and there were castles. _

_His eyes rolled shut with the agonizing waves of soreness that rolled through the inside of his body._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Touga breathed in, making he whole body go limp. Akio took his face in his dark hands and kissed him, pushing his tongue pasted his numb lips as Touga closed his eyes. The stars blended into Akio's silhouette above him as his vision dimmed. Power and control left him once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Vibrations

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #03: tangent

**Rating: **For Everyone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

Vibrations

A/N: This fic will be written from Saionji's POV. And just a warning, this fic contains a good deal of Saionji angst.

When we were young, I taught Touga how to hold a Kendo sword properly. I would stand behind him, my chest flush against his back, and my sweaty hands wrapped around his as he held the heavy wooden weapon.

We were so close. I could feel the rhythms of our bodies fall into time as I moved his limbs and rearranged his hands. The room was completely empty except for us, which blatantly mirrored how I lived my life. How I still live my life.

With the rough floor beneath us we would practice until we knocked each other down to meet it. Sometimes we would get splinters in our hands, and Touga would complain to me about it later, as if I was in charge of sandpapering the Kendo room during my spare time.

Every time I knocked him down, the vibrations travelled up my feet and into my chest. We really played that hard. But whenever I beat him, I couldn't help but think, 'This is the only thing I can have. The only thing that I'm better at than him.'

It was terrible, but when I closed my eyes, thrusting the sword harder than I should to send him flying a few feet and then plunging down to crack his back on the floor; an ungodly amount of satisfaction coursed through me. Feeling his body's pain in waves transferred to me by the floor…

I never felt so close to him.

Even now, when I see him cutting that Utena girl a sideways look that's vaguely reminiscent of the gazes he gave me, I don't think she can ever fully capture his attention.

She's never felt him like I have.

So what does she know? Even if she crawls like a dog, wiggles her way between our years of friendship, I've still absorbed all his pain.

Connecting us together, I am the shock absorber that ensures Utena will never feel anything Touga sends out.

Vibrations. Trembling. Even a trivial shudder.

I'll continue to gather anything he gives.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Of Princes and Brides

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #04: pecking order

**Rating: **Teens (for some creepiness)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

Of Princes and Brides

A/N: The words in italics are from Touga's POV (his memories). This fic mentions events from the Revolutionary Girl Utena movie and TV series…all at the same time!

_He was always behind the desk when he spoke to me, smoking a pipe that smelled terrible and looking smug._

"_Princes rule the world, Touga. They claim everything for themselves and they do not apologize for their nature. Brides are also swept up for the benefit of the Princes. But they learn to enjoy the comforts they are offered. Do you understand, Touga?"_

"_Yes, father." I understood perfectly, even while so young and seemingly innocent._

"_That is why you will grow your hair out for me. I am the Prince, _you_ are the Bride, and I don't see that changing anytime soon."_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Saionji, am I a fool?" The sun was setting and the shadows of two tall boys lengthened on the stone steps of the majestic school. Burned, astral oranges and reds played in their hair and reflected off the adornments on their school uniforms.

"No more than others, I suppose" Saionji sat down on the steps with a huff. The bells began to ring again, sharp and clanging, they sounded ominous, as if to provide atmosphere for the dark forest that surrounded the school. Soon, they would be travelling into that forest, deeper than the myth of a fairytale, to duel Utena one last time.

"I must have her, Saionji. I know you don't understand that, but I _must_…"

"You really don't have to explain a thing to me." The green-haired boy answered tiredly. He was so sick of hearing Touga explain himself.

"Please. Hear me out one last time." Touga stepped in front of his long-time friend, obscuring Saionji's view of the forest and creating a red-tinged silhouette of himself.

"I know that I've forced you into the role of the Bride, but it's the only way. We need to defeat End of the World, and I…"

"You need Utena."

"I'm sorry."

"Of course you are."

The conversation ended. As the sun sunk even lower into the black trees, Saionji got up wordlessly and began heading towards the Dueling Arena, and towards their destiny that always seemed to be carved in stone; a Prince and a Bride.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"_You see son, the Bride always submits, always bows her head in the end…" My father let out a sigh of pleasure as his fingers fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, eventually exposing my bare flesh to the smoke-filled room._

"_No matter what the Prince does; horrible things, good things…" Another gasp. "…sadistic things. The Bride will acknowledge the Prince as her master and she will _always_ come around…in time."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **A Coffin for Two

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #05: impasse

**Rating: **OlderTeens (for some gory imagery, and some sensuality)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

A Coffin for Two

A/N: This fic will be written from Saionji's POV. Words in italics are Saionji's thoughts. There are also some vague references to the Utena movie.

I awoke in the darkness, sweating and gasping at the heavy air, nothing but the humid sensation of silky sheets thinly veiling my naked body.

"Saionji…" Touga mumbled beside me, he was just waking up as well. The click of a lamp was heard, and the room became too bright and open. Slowly, I began to recognize my surroundings.

_A canopy of pink tulle, a painting of a dark-skinned girl…a hole in her chest…_

I bolted up, clutching desperately at my heart, a barrage of memories rushing back to me about my dream.

"Saionji! What's wrong?!"

"There were coffins…" I started to cry, the sobs racking my body with surprising force. "Oh God…I was trapped a-and there was no light, not a single bit! I could barely move but I managed to lift my arms and scratch at the lid…but I couldn't break through! My fingers were bleeding because of how long I was tearing at that goddamn lid…my nails b-broke off…and, I…"

"Saionji, please get a hold of yourself! It was just a dream." He had a disappointed expression on his face, but underneath there was something else.

_He's afraid…_

"I've never reacted to a dream like this before," I was a bit calmer now, "it was so real…I felt trapped."

The words fell cold in the silent room. Touga sighed, a shaky expulsion of warmth that reached my skin, and wrapped his arms around me, dragging me back down onto the bed.

"It's alright. I told you not to worry, it was just a dream."

I felt him smile against my neck before he kissed it. With tears still in my eyes, I grabbed a handful of his hair and brought our lips together, for what was probably the hundredth time that night. I felt his hand stray down my body and begin to stroke me gently, almost carefully, as if I would shatter if he went too fast. He paused to turn off the lamp, letting the darkness get between us for a few seconds before coming back to my side.

"Whatever that dream was…let it stay in your memories, alright? It can't hurt us anymore."

As much as I wanted to be comforted by his words, I couldn't help but shudder. The room was black again, and I was breathing, what felt like, moist dirt in a worm-filled grave.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Illusion

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #06: descent in an elevator

**Rating: **Everyone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

Illusion

There were ruins all throughout the school. Buildings left to rot in the rain and wither in the sun, stained glass windows broken into monochrome prisms that cast colorful shadows in different angles each day. It was easy to get lost in it all.

"Do you remember when we first came to this school?" Touga turned his head towards Saionji with a genuine, questioning tone in his voice that wasn't exactly normal for the boy.

Saionji frowned, which was more than normal for him, and looked where his friend had been staring before gracing him with the uncharacteristically reminiscent question. They were on the Student Council balcony overlooking the elaborate school. Touga had been gazing at the planetarium. The building stood tall and erect near the deep forest surrounding Ohtori Academy, stabbing upwards at the sky which answered the violence the structure embodied by presenting a blood-red sunset every night.

"Not particularly."

It was Touga's turn to scowl, in that certain way he had that almost became a pout because of his habit of sucking on his lower lip in frustration.

"And you don't think that's a little bit odd?"

"What the hell are you getting at?"

"It's just…sometimes I'm not quite sure what was here a few days ago…and what wasn't. Sometimes things just seem to appear and disappear…I don't know."

It was getting dark. The sky was beginning to let the stars slip through and the shadows changed in a way that they only did at Ohtori Academy.

Saionji shifted in his uniform, scratching his head a bit and thinking of a way to make his friend act normally again.

"We should probably get going, you know? Everyone else is gone and…"

"Yeah, I know."

Touga sighed, lowering his head and covering his face in crimson hair. He then turned around suddenly and gave a pensive stare at the elevator that lead to the first floor of the Student Council building then out unto the campus. He looked at it in the same strange, questioning way, as if it was bringing back memories or as if he wasn't sure it had always been there.

The boys finally entered the ornate cage after awhile, and went down into the darkness of the near-deserted school.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: **Bibliophile

**Author: **tacit_galaxy

**Pairing: **KiryuuTouga x Saionji Kyouichi

**Fandom:** Revolutionary Girl Utena

**Theme:** Zeta #07: Nazca

**Rating: **Teens (for Saionji's dirty mouth)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or any of its characters.

Bibliophile

Touga had recently been scouring Ohtori's massive library with a vigor Saionji had yet to see duplicated in the redheaded playboy. The teen would return to his dorm room at all hours of the night, smelling of dusty mahogany, mildewed pages, and cracked bindings. Saionji would frown at this, unable to comprehend the sudden interest in the school's collection of outdated books.

What was worse, Touga would never talk about what he had read, not to anyone.

"You know, I'm curious…" Saionji muttered one day after classes, "What the hell do you spend all that time reading?"

Touga blinked and stared as if the question were absurd.

"Fairytales."

"Are you serious?"

"Very. They're extremely interesting." He grinned, leaning back in the desk he so confidently occupied.

"Do you remember Nanami's trip to Peru?"

It was Saionji's turn to look baffled. He shook his head, a bit impatiently, now that the answer to his question was revealed, he didn't want to stick around for the explanation. Touga seemed to sense this and let out an easy laugh.

"Oh, come on now! You asked _me_! This whole thing is Nanami's doing, really. She came back from Peru with some of the most interesting stories…about a place called Nazca, that had huge carvings whose crude pictures are only visible from way up in the air….and of course the _elephants_!" He laughed again at this, shaking his head at his younger sister's antics.

"All of this because of _Nanami_? I thought you regarded her as a nuisance at best?" Saionji felt his cheeks flush at the question though he didn't really know why. He seemed to remember every annoying thing the melodramatic blonde did that aggravated him and most of all he began to get angry at Touga for speaking in such a flippantly fond manner about her.

"Well…she can definitely be a bother…but she's my sister, you know?" He paused for a moment, seeming to think something over, then said, "You do remember Nanami's trip, don't you? I fail to see how you could forget it! What with the _curry_ and all…"

"I have no fucking clue what you're talking about."

"Kyouichi…"

"Don't call me that!"

Touga sighed and hung his head.

"You know…the books in that library are so old. It's almost like they've been there since the beginning of time, just waiting for me to read them."

"You're talking such bullshit! Shut up about the goddamn books and your fucking sister for once, alright?!"

Saionji leaped forward, almost as if he was going to attack his friend, and forced their mouths together with his usual violence. Touga let his fingers tangle into Saionji's green hair like fish hooks. Both of them frowned through the kiss, angry to be together, but too lonely to break apart. There was nothing loving about anything they did nowadays.

"Stop whatever you're doing…" whispered Saionji after releasing Touga from the forceful kiss.

"Whatever you're searching for, stop it. Love, or books, fairytales...it's already here." At this he let his arms raise as if he were about to point to himself but thought better about it.

Touga smiled sadly. He was trying to remember was he had read that day, but no mattered how hard he thought, he could never recall the words.


End file.
